What the Heart Wants, Mind Denies, and Body Claims
by Dark-Phantasmagoria
Summary: Dean and Cas are in the arctic, surrounded by a ring of holy fire. Cas is protecting Dean from the angels and demons out to get him. A shapeshifter is running around in Dean's face and framing him for murders of the heavenly and hellish creatures. Sam is trying to clear Dean's name, and Dean is trying not to spill his guts to his one true love.
1. Day 1

Day 1

The thrashing snow swirled around in endless spirals, seeming to freeze over the very earth. Gusts of wind battered the tent fabric and caused a loud _blowing _similar to the sound of wind hitting a sail. Right now, there was no other sound than the solitude of the arctic, and the sounds of Mother Nature expressing her dominion over man. Dean sat, curled up with five coats on and under his sleeping bag in the tent, trying to get warm in the freezing cold. Across from him sat Cas, looking comfortable as ever in his suit and trench coat. Dean looked at him enviously.

"And you aren't freezing your ass off at all?" he stammered, trying to stop his teeth from chattering.

"No. If you don't remember, my natural form isn't made of skin and bone," Cas said with a shrug.

"Do-doesn't your va-vessel freeze to death?" Dean asked, now looking into the sleeping bag and breathing on his glove-covered hands. Cas shook his head.

"I can't feel any cold. I'm not sure if Jimmy's body does though," Cas said, not intrigued at the possibility of his vessel freezing to death. Dean laughed.

"May-maybe you should put on a ca-coat," he said, smiling. Cas shrugged.

"If you say so," he said. Cas reached into their silver trunk of provisions and dug around for a while until he found a large, brown winter coat. He put it on over his trench coat and Dean smiled.

"It suits you."

"Thanks," said Cas, his face brightening up a bit.

"So, how long are we going to have to stay in this freakin' place?" asked Dean, now gaining control of his stammering a bit.

"Well, we're waiting for Sam to clear your name, which could take a while. My guess is a few weeks, maybe," said Cas.

Dean nodded. Then his face took on a puzzled expression. "Why here though? Couldn't the angels find me here anyway?" Dean asked. Cas shook his head.

"No. First of all, you aren't on the radar as much now, since I carved the sigil into your rib."

"Thanks for that, by the way," Dean said, interrupting Cas.

"It's my job to protect you… and Sam," Cas said quietly, looking into Dean's eyes. They sat still, staring at each other for several minutes before Cas remembered what he was saying.

"Oh, and secondly, there's a ring of holy fire around the tent. I can't get out, and they can't get in," Cas said. Dean wasn't quite sure why Cas added the fact that he couldn't leave.

_Probably trying to make me feel guilty that he has to look after my sorry ass all of the time, _Dean said, pushing away any other thoughts.

"Well, do you know how to play poker?" Dean asked, trying to think of how they would spend their time here. Cas shook his head.

"No. I've never had the occasion."

"Well, thankfully, I have a set. Would you grab it? It's in the chest." Cas nodded. Meanwhile, Dean turned to the right and tried to get the heater as warm as possible. After fiddling around with it for several minutes, he managed to get it to a comfortable temperature and position in the tent. At least they had power.

"This it?" Cas said as soon as Dean turned back to him. In his hands he was holding a worn out wood box that looked like a briefcase.

"Yep. That was my dad's. He taught me when I was really young," Dean said. He sighed a little. At least now he didn't want to cry every time he thought of his dad. It had been a few years… He was over it in his mind.

"How do we set it up?" Cas asked. Dean gestured for him to hand it over.

"Here," he said, unlatching the box.

"All right, now the first thing you do is get out your chips…"


	2. Day 2

Day 2

Dean woke up to the sound of the wind lashing against the tent.

"That's gonna get old fast," he muttered, rolling over to the left. Dean yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"Ah! Cas, what the hell!?" he yelled. Cas was sitting very close to Dean's face, staring at him. When Dean yelled he immediately looked down sadly.

"Sorry," he said softly. Dean's expression softened and he sat up.

"It's okay. I forget that you don't have anything to do when I'm asleep. Doesn't that get boring?" he asked.

"Sometimes I suppose. But, it's interesting to watch you… You–humans, are fascinating," Cas said, quickly correcting himself. Dean looked at him silently for a moment.

"I'm not sure if I'm supposed to say thanks or get the hell away," Dean said with a laugh.

"Well, I'll work on it. I'm trying really hard to give you personal space."

Dean nodded, feeling bad now. Cas didn't understand that humans, especially Dean, didn't really like to have people close to him. But, Dean knew deep down that for some reason, he didn't mind Cas being too close to him, and that bothered Dean. He couldn't let too many people get close to him, otherwise it would hurt _when_ he lost them eventually.

"Cas?" Dean asked suddenly, thinking of something.

"Yes Dean?" he asked.

"How is Sam going to let us know that my name is cleared?" he asked, a bit cockily.

Cas sat for a second, and his expression changed immediately to anger. He looked incredibly conflicted, and couldn't seem to sit still.

"Well, I guess I _do _make mistakes. I hadn't thought of it," Cas said, struggling to deal with his self-loathing at the moment. Dean could see that he was obviously in pain, and for once, just this once, he reached forward and put his hand on the angel's shoulder.

"Cas, please stop blaming yourself for everything. No one, not even an angel, is perfect, although you're pretty close," Dean said. Cas looked at his human for a moment.

"But, I'm a fallen angel. How on earth can I be what I used to?" he asked, distraught. Dean sighed.

"Stop it, okay? I'm tired of the fallen angel crap! What is it with you angels and your pride? If any sons of bitches try to tell you otherwise, just blind them with your true form. Your fine Cas, more than fine actually. You–ah, never mind okay?" Dean said, patting Cas on the shoulder. He was feeling increasingly uncomfortable and raising his voice. He wasn't sure what he had been about to say, but whatever it was came from a feeling that he had felt in the deepest part of his soul… Dean ignored it, and tried to regain his calm.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to yell," he said, seeing that Cas was clearly still bothered.

"It's alright Dean. I knew that when I devoted myself to protecting you, there would be a cost," Cas said, feeling defeated in life. Dean looked at him, now feeling deeply saddened.

"Cas, you don't know just how sorry I am for putting you through everything. I know that it killed you when I couldn't forgive you, and I'm so sorry for all of the other things that I've done, especially making you a fallen angel. You've saved me from death so many times, and I haven't done anything in return. It kills me to be in debt, you know that, and with you I'm in the deepest debt that I've ever been in." For a moment Cas looked finally dumbstruck by what Dean had said. Then he reverted to his usual calm.

"Thank you Dean, that means a lot coming from you." Dean nodded. Cas looked uncomfortable for a moment, and didn't say anything. Then he looked back into Dean's eyes.

"How close is alright for me to sit?" he asked. Dean looked into Cas's tired, pleading eyes. Why he had a soft place for this angel, he didn't know. Maybe Cas was the brother that he had never had, or the one friend that would always come back for him. Or maybe… Dean didn't know. All he knew was that Cas was one of the most important people in his life, and he struggled to understand it every day.

"Here," Dean said, pulling out his left hand and for once patting the ground directly beside him. Cas scooted over next to Dean.

"Thank you," said Cas. After that they said nothing for a long time, and Dean huddled up in his sleeping bag while Cas sat in silence, staring off into space. After a while he looked at Dean.

"Why did you visit me so often when I was in the hospital?" he asked curiously. Dean looked at Cas and bit his lip. Honestly, he didn't understand everything that was going on inside of him.

"Because I–I really," he stopped dead. He couldn't answer the question. Time stopped in Dean Winchester's head. And because he didn't have a proper excuse for his daily visits to Cas, he lied.

"I had to make sure that you'd be in good shape to help finish the apocalypse, didn't I?" he played off with a fake smile. Cas cocked his head to the side.

"Is that a joke?" he said, hoping to get it right this time. He was working on understanding human emotions more.

"Yeah Cas, yeah it's a joke," said Dean, feeling horrible inside. Cas nodded.

"Glad I figured that one out," he said with his little innocent smile. Dean wanted to kick himself in the head so hard right now, or throw himself off of a cliff. And the worst part was, that he didn't even know why.


	3. Day 3

Day 3

"Cold out there much?" Dean laughed as Cas opened the tent door and stepped inside quickly.

"Not for me, but I think that this body would've started losing body parts if I stayed out there any longer," said Cas, looking a bit anxious. Dean could see his worry. His mouth was in between a smile and a frown, and his eyes were almost squinted with anxiety.

"Come here, let me look," said Dean. "Has anything lost feeling?" he asked. Cas came and sat next to him.

"I don't think my right hand is working," he said, intrigued at this whole process of diagnosing an illness.

"Come on, off with the glove," said Dean, pulling the glove off of Cas's hand slowly. When he saw what was underneath he almost died inside.

"Ah, dammit. Wait a second," he said, quickly turning to sift through their provisions. He got out the first aid kit and brought the heater over next to Cas.

"Okay, wait Cas," he said nervously. He took the angel's hand in his and placed it directly in front of the heater.

"Keep it there or I swear I'll hit you," Dean said distractedly as he searched around for more articles of clothing. He grabbed three pairs of gloves and another coat.

"Here, put this on," he said, holding them out to Cas.

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't? Don't you realize that you could—I mean your vessel could lose its hand? Stop being an idiot!" Dean said, and before Cas could respond he had put the pairs of gloves on Cas's hands, pulled his arms through the coat, and was securing the hood over the angel's head.

"Now, get the fuck under a blanket," Dean ordered. Cas looked oddly confounded, wondering why Dean was being so pushy. He followed the directions all the same and took the other sleeping bag from the corner of the tent. Laying it out, he unzipped it and climbed inside so that he was lying next to Dean's sleeping bag.

"Thank you Dean," said Cas. Dean sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"You're welcome. Now just, don't go outside anymore, okay?" he said, softening his request this time. Cas nodded like a small child who had just been dazzled by a magic trick. All of a sudden he was feeling very strange. He looked at Dean, who was so worried about something as simple as his vessel's hand, and sighed. Why didn't he understand human emotions? There seemed to be so many inside him right now…


	4. Day 4

Day 4

"Doesn't liquor suppress your blood flow, making you colder?" Cas asked, looking at Dean as he chugged down a beer. Dean looked at him with a face that said _Leave me the fuck alone about my drinking. _But, instead of telling Cas that, he chose the kinder version.

"I don't care. I'd rather be drunk than have to sit here sober in the cold," he said. "Besides, how'd you know that?" Cas shrugged.

"I'm not sure. I think one of the doctors said something about it when I was in the hospital. They were warning me about the dangers of drinking I believe," said Cas. That simple sentence struck a chord in Dean. There it went again. Cas had taken a living hell into his body for Dean, been sent to the psycho ward for Dean, and kept in solitude—all for Dean.

"Oh," said Dean, not sure that he could manage to say much else. He looked at Cas and then at his beer.

"Does it bother you that I'm drinking it now?" he asked. Cas shook his head.

"No, I don't think so. I just don't want you to hurt yourself," he said. At that moment, Dean wanted to lay down and die. But he couldn't. He just couldn't do anything.

"Well, I'll be fine. I'm only having one or two." Cas nodded at that.

"What do you want to do today?" asked Dean.

"I just thought we'd sit here quietly again…" Cas said. Dean laughed.

"I can't believe that you're happy just doing that. I want to move around, do something. I can't keep my sanity if we're just sitting here for weeks and weeks," said Dean.

"Well, we could go into the blizzard and do something," Cas shrugged. At that Dean nodded.

"Right, I suppose we will just have to sit here… Well, we have a lot of time to talk. What did you do before you—before you saved me the _first _time?" Dean asked. It was only now that he realized he didn't know much about Cas's past. Cas thought for a moment.

"Well, I served God. I did about the same thing that I do now, protecting people and helping set the course of humanity on the right path," Cas said. Dean felt a pang of jealousy somewhere in his heart and didn't know why.

"You mean you've done this sort of thing with _others_? You are a 'protector' for more than just me and Sam?" he asked, feeling a bit agitated.

"Well, I didn't actually stay with anyone or help any hunters. You're the only one that I've shared a profound bond with," Cas sat matter-of-factly. Dean looked at Cas and began to feel a wall break down inside of him.

"What about Sam?" he asked, his voice becoming very dry.

"Well, Sam is very kind to me, but I just don't feel very connected to him." Dean began to shake all over. He clenched his knuckles and tried his best to remain calm. He knew it. In his heart he finally understood why he felt the way he did. But, he couldn't risk losing Cas as a friend…

"Well, I agree," Dean said, struggling to remain composed. Eventually he managed to at least look like he was okay.

"You're a great friend Cas," he said suddenly. It was all he could do not to spill his guts.

"I agree. I appreciate you're _friendship._"

Dean couldn't stand it. That word—_friendship. _It mocked him from all angles and took away his resolve. It stripped him of his courage and left him a bare shell. It tore apart his soul and made his heart bleed. _Friendship._


	5. Day 5

Day 5

Dean awoke to stillness. The calm was surprising, given that the past five days had been louder than hell. He sat up and looked around. Immediately he began to panic.

"Cas!?" he said, standing up and forgetting the cold air. He pulled on his hood and unzipped the tent. He stepped outside and shut the flap. Looking around the white landscape he saw nothing, other than the ring of holy fire that burned in a circle off in the distance. It was almost a mile across. Cas could be anywhere.

Dean hurriedly looked around him, searching the snow for Cas. He became increasingly upset as he kept trudging through the snow and coming up with nothing. After searching for about an hour he walked back to the tent, defeated. It was only when it came into view that he saw Cas climbing inside. Dean rushed to him as fast as he could and climbed into the tent, zipping it behind him. He instantly walked over and slapped the angel across the face.

"Where the hell have you been?! I've been looking for you! I thought you were dead you ass hole!" yelled Dean, trying to push Cas to the ground. He managed to get several punches in and hit Cas's cheek and nose.

"Dean stop—let me explain!" Cas said back, trying to calm him. Dean looked at Cas sorrowfully and collapsed on the ground.

"I'm sorry Cas. I was just—worried," Dean muttered. Cas sat down next to him.

"I should've told you that I was leaving. It's not your fault. I'm sorry," Cas said.

"Where did you go?" Dean said quietly, feeling utterly confused at why he was so angry.

"I went to check that the circle hadn't been compromised. It hasn't. We're still safe from any demons, or angels, that come looking for you," Cas said.

"Well, well don't do that again. Tell me next time," Dean said, sorry for punching the angel.

"Okay." Dean looked at Cas's face. His face was bloody and there was a gash on his right cheek. Dean grabbed a wet cloth from the first-aid kit and turned to Cas.

"Sit still," he said as he dabbed at the already-cracking blood on Cas's face. When he was done he threw the cloth on the ground and laid down, frustrated.

"I'm such an ass," he said to himself. Cas shook his head.

"No, you're not." He looked deeply into Dean's green eyes with his piercing blue ones. The eye contact was the confirmation that Dean had been waiting to experience for years. It was longer than their usual exchanges, more meaningful. Dean's breathing quickened and his heart began to race. This was it, what he wanted, wasn't it? Before allowing himself to think anything else, including if this was the right decision, Dean sat up and leaned forward. He allowed Cas a moment to decide what he wanted before closing the gap. To his surprise though, Cas did it for him. He crushed his lips onto Dean's and both of them felt like there was an electric current radiating out from the tent. Dean kissed Cas deeply, slowly, wanting _this _to last forever. And then, he unleashed all of the feelings that had been bottled up inside him for so long.

Dean grasped Cas's hair and pulled him closer, taking control of the situation. Cas eagerly responded and wrapped his arms around his human's neck, hoping that he could do everything that Dean wanted.

They pressed against one another, both wanting to become one and close any of the small space that lingered in between them, separating them from each other. Dean pulled Cas on top of him, eagerly slipping his legs around the angel's waist. Right now, he didn't care about anything in the world other than Castiel. Cas was his everything, his life force, and _nothing _would stop Dean from having him now that he finally confronted his feelings. But, in the same moment, he didn't want everything to be a blur. He didn't want Cas to be like just another girl at the bar. Dean was changed, and he had been fighting his feelings for Cas for years, diving into women and alcohol as a way to cope with his lust. Dean pulled away for a moment.

"Wait Cas, stop," he said, trying desperately to restrain his urges to fuck Castiel until the end of time. Cas immediately looked worried, taking it the wrong way.

"Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry," he said, apologizing ahead of time.

"No Cas, no," said Dean, kissing Cas's neck. "I just, I don't want this to happen so quickly. I _love _you, and I want this to be perfect." It was the first time that Dean had said those words to Cas, and as soon as he did he felt a huge weight being lifted from his shoulders. He didn't have to hide anymore behind crappy innuendoes and an asshole attitude. Cas knew now that Dean loved him. There was no need to make anything rushed, or blow off the sentiments.

"I agree. You are the only one that has made me feel this way Dean," said Cas. "I can say that I think I _love _you too, although the phrase is unfamiliar to me."

Dean sighed with relief.

"Thank you…" And with that Dean pulled Cas beside him and grabbed the sleeping bag, adjusting it so that they were both under it. Cas nuzzled into Dean's neck and hesitantly wrapped his left arm around his chest. Dean put his arms around Cas.

"Is this too close?" asked Cas innocently. Dean sighed.

"You don't need to worry about that anymore, okay Cas? It's perfect," he said, feeling like he could fly.

"Good," said Cas as he cuddled closer to Dean.


	6. Day 6

Day 6

When Dean woke up, his teeth immediately started chattering. He yawned and stretched his arms behind him, placing them underneath his head. Looking down, he saw Cas still curled up against his chest. For once, the angel was sleeping. It was odd, now that the roles were reversed. Dean looked at Cas's innocent face that was squished against his chest. His brown hair was messily sticking out at all sides, and his arm was lazily slung over Dean's stomach. Hesitantly, Dean reached his right arm down and stroked Cas's hair, feeling the softness of it. He smoothed it out until it resembled Cas's usual look. Then Dean lay still, contemplating everything that he had done in his life so far. He had only attempted to settle down one time, and that turned out disastrous. He ended up having to have Cas erase Lisa and Ben's memory of him. Dean thought about that deeply. With Cas, he didn't have to pretend to have some cookie-cutter life of a normal man. With Cas, he didn't have to keep secrets about his past, and he always had someone that was more than willing to protect him. Cas had pulled Dean out of the abyss from the first moment that they met. And as of now, he had done so much to help Dean and Sam, even falling from his pure status to save them, to save Dean.

After a while, Cas stirred. He opened his blue eyes and looked up at Dean. Not moving, he mumbled "Good morning". Dean smiled.

"Morning. You finally slept," he said, still stroking Cas's hair. Cas nodded.

"I've never really been able to. But I guess that I finally had something to distract me from my busy head," Cas said.

"I'll always distract you when you need it," Dean whispered, not holding any affection back now that he had said the big words. Now, Cas sat up and crossed his legs.

"Are you hungry? You need to eat, you know," he said worriedly. Dean nodded.

"Yeah, I could use some food, especially since we're in the middle of the freezing arctic," he said with a laugh. Cas immediately stood and walked over to their provisions box and pulled out several food items.

"I don't know what you want, but there are these egg sandwich things. Is that okay?" Cas asked, looking over at Dean and holding up the packaged sandwich. Dean nodded.

"Yeah that's good. When did you have the time to pack all of this crap?"

"Sam helped me. I asked him to give me a list of things that you like to eat, and we went to the grocery store." Dean felt like laughing to picture Cas in his trench coat at the store looking at food, but then felt like he could melt. Cas obviously cared if he had gone so far as to pick out food that Dean liked.

"Well, thanks. How do we cook it?" Dean asked. "You know, if you guys could just zap food and make it hot that'd be a useful power," he added, contemplating Cas's abilities.

"We wouldn't eat it anyway though," Cas said, not sure if Dean was joking or not. He pulled out a little stovetop from their trunk and put it in the center of the tent.

"We cook with this." Dean noticed Cas eyeing the cooker suspiciously.

"Okay. Here, I can do it," He said, not wanting Cas to have to try and figure out how to use the cooker. He probably didn't have a clue how. Dean grabbed a match and lit it, putting it on the burner just as he flicked the switch to _on._ Cas watched as Dean unwrapped the sandwich and put it on the grill.

"Do we have spatulas?" he asked. Cas nodded and grabbed an orange one from the trunk.

"Thanks." Dean quickly cooked the frozen sandwich and soon it was hot and steamy. He turned off the stove and began to eat.

"It's probably better that you guys don't eat anyways. With all of that teleporting that you do, you'd surely get flabby," Dean laughed as he chewed his sandwich.

"I don't think that our vessels would gain weight," said Cas. Then he stopped. "Wait, was that a joke?"

"Yeah it was a joke," said Dean. Cas's face lit up a bit.

"See, I'm starting to understand jokes," he said, feeling accomplished.

"I'm glad, it sucks when I say something _hilarious, _which is pretty often, and you don't get it," Dean said, playing off his cockiness a little.

Cas nodded. "I'm really happy that I actually am doing something of worth now. I think that I wanted God to be leading us so much that I tried desperately to follow his every word. But the whole garrison has essentially fallen, so why shouldn't I be able to be with who I want to?" Cas said. Dean was feeling overwhelmed. Even though he was Cas's only love ever, he realized that Cas was a bit of a romantic. The way Dean saw it, Cas was sort of the girl in this relationship.

_Damn man, that's horrible. He's not a fucking whore like all of the others, _Dean thought to himself. But, he didn't mean it like that. What he meant was that Cas, especially for an angel, was a lot more emotional than Dean. Dean liked to ignore his _feelings _and keep on working. But, he would bend for Cas. He always would.

"I'm very happy for you that you gave up that God crap, because he is gone. But, I'm honestly more happy that you well—you're here," Dean said slowly.

"Me too Dean," said Cas.


	7. Day 7

Day 7

Dean sat in the corner of the tent, pretending to read one of his dad's friend's journals. Cas was watching him intently, and although he knew that Dean was faking, he didn't say anything. He was letting Dean think in peace, not bothering him with idiotic questions. Dean sighed.

_Why does this have to be so difficult? _He thought. He was beginning to feel increasingly hot and bothered, and every time he looked at Cas he could barely contain himself.

_You told him, what's the wait for? _Came another voice in his head.

_I just want it to be done right, okay? _Dean answered the voice.

_But it won't ever be perfect, and now's a better time than any. It's already been a week, Sammy's coming back soon. Use your time with Cas wisely, _the voice answered.

_You know for a voice in my head you have a lot better judgment than me, _Dean said.

_That's the point, dumb ass. _Dean ended his internal conversation and closed the journal. He looked over to Cas for a moment, and their eyes met. Now? Here?

_If you can't do this you're going to regret it. Cas isn't always around, and here there's no chance that you'll be interrupted…_

_ You have a point there Dean, _he said to himself. Dean nodded a bit and scooted over to Cas.

"Cas?" he asked, wanting his attention. Castiel looked at him.

"Yes Dean?" he said. Dean looked at Cas lovingly. He reached up his hands and cradled the angel's face in his, before crushing their lips together. That feeling of electricity jolted through Dean again, and he recognized that he was feeling more than he had ever felt with someone. This was actual love. He pulled Cas closer, closing the space between their bodies. There, they rocked in place as Dean kissed Cas with all of his heart, sometimes biting at the angel's neck and grasping his hair.

Cas responded equally and followed Dean's lead, wrapping his arms around _his_ human's neck. From somewhere deep inside Dean, erupted a low moan of lust.

"Are you in pain?" Cas asked curiously.

"No, no, no," Dean said with a little chuckle, distracted with the smell of Cas. He must have this beautiful angel now. Dean didn't care about how cold it was outside, and he immediately began to strip his layers. He leaned over and clicked the heater up to full blast, so that it was a _balmy _fifty degrees in the tent. It was good enough. At last Dean was only in his t-shirt and jeans, and he looked at Cas expectantly.

"What?" Cas asked. Dean rolled his eyes. This was actually pretty fun, corrupting heaven's _little angel_.

He grabbed Cas's hands and put them at the base of his shirt, pulling them upwards until Cas understood and finished the task. Then something seemed to wake up in the angel and he began to pull off Dean's pants, slowly and sweetly. Before long, Dean was only in his underwear. He looked at Cas devilishly.

"Your turn." He was quick and practiced, and it seemed like in a flash Cas was only in his white underwear. Dean paused for a second.

"It's weird that you think to wear those. I dunno, I just guess I never thought of it…" he mumbled. And then after looking at the boxers for a moment he figured out why they looked misshapen. Cas was _well _provided for… Luckily, Dean felt confident in his own lower appendage. Cas eagerly reached forward and kissed Dean again, and the hunter was happily surprised with the angel's enthusiasm. He kissed Cas deeper, and pulled him closer, slowly opening his mouth so that their tongues were allowed to explore each other's mouths.

Suddenly a moan escaped Cas's mouth, and for a moment he was confused. He looked into Dean's eyes and looked questioning.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"It means you're enjoying yourself," Dean winked.

Cas nodded, taking in all of these new sensations, and Dean took control once more. He easily slid Cas' underwear off and pulled his own off as well, leaving them both completely naked. Dean grinned.

"How I lasted this long, I have no idea," he said. Then before Cas could respond, Dean's lips trailed downwards so that he was right in front of Cas' endowments. For half a second he paused, unsure of what to do. This whole thing was a new experience for Dean, and even newer for Cas. But, Dean just decided to go for it and he took Cas in, making the angel awake even more with these guilty feelings of pleasure. Dean picked up quickly, and after several seconds he seemed like a pro at being with a man. Only, he knew that Cas wasn't really a man. He was something _much _more. For a moment Dean remembered that this vessel used to be a person, Jimmy, but he shook the thought out of his head. _No. _Now this _was _Cas, not some random human. Cas embodied this vessel in his personality, thoughts, human emotions that he didn't admit to having, and so much more.

Dean realized then that all of this time he could've had Castiel, if he had been bold enough to try. But, he was happy _here, _and this moment was all he wanted, all he wanted to have, forever.

He reached up and kissed Cas's neck, and then continued to place kisses down his arms and behind his ears. Dean didn't even understand where this new, _loving _side of him had come from, but he knew that it had been saved for Cas and only Cas. His mind had known that his body wasn't ready for such feelings of love until he had found someone who truly deserved them. Now, he knew that he was ready to spend his life with Cas, forever, as long as he lived…

Dean decided right there that he was now completely ready for this. He had waited long enough. He flipped Cas around so that he was lying on his stomach.

"Are you ready?" he whispered, kissing the angel's neck.

"Always," he said. Dean jumped inside with pleasure and thrust into Cas, who instantly shuddered in enjoyment. He couldn't believe all of these feelings that he was experiencing, there were so many... A moan escaped his lips and he eagerly let Dean dominate for the moment. After several minutes he said "Dean, stop for a moment." Dean reluctantly pulled out of Cas and rolled over onto his side.

"What is it?"

Cas smiled eagerly and leaned in to kiss his hunter.

"I'm just so glad that you decided to share your feelings Dean." And with that Cas pulled Dean back on top of him, instantly placing little kisses at his neck. Dean kissed back and began to trail the little pecks all down Cas's arms, face, ears. Suddenly there was a distinct sound that escaped Cas.

"Did you just giggle?" Dean asked. Cas nodded.

"I love you so much," Dean said with a laugh as he pulled his lover closer.

"I love you too Dean," Cas said with a smile.


	8. Day 8

Day 8

"Cas, will you ever leave?" Dean asked, holding his angel closely. The sensation was new in a way, but it was also familiar. Castiel wasdefinitely _not_ dominant in their relationship. He was quiet, and always the romantic, the exact opposite of the outgoing, passionate person that Dean was.

"No. I might have to go sometimes to do the lord's work, but I'll always come back. I can live forever, so I have all of the time in the world for you." The sentiment caught Dean off guard once again. Why was Cas so willing to sacrifice his time for Dean? But, then again, Dean knew the feeling…

"Cas, when I die _again _someday, I mean of age, is there any chance that I will see you again?" Dean asked. Cas thought about it for a moment.

"I'm not sure. You've been to heaven and hell. I don't know where you and Sam would go, but if it was my decision, I'd have you come to be with us," Cas said, really meaning _me _when he said "us".

"Oh. Well, God's gone, so maybe you'll be in control again."

Cas shook his head. "I don't think I could be in power. I'm a fallen angel Dean. Not to mention that I had the leviathan in me for a while. And, if you don't remember I was a pretty bad God when I was given the chance."

Dean shook his head. "I think that you'd be fine. I mean, they can't hold it against you that you were possessed when you did all of that."

Cas nodded and cleared his throat.

"Dean?" he asked, innocently as he always did, as if he was asking permission just to ask his question.

"Yes Cas?"

"Thank you," he said, wrapping his arms around his human's neck.

"You're welcome."


	9. Day 10

Day 10

"Hey!" yelled Sam, trying to be heard over the blizzard. He was freezing cold, tired from flying on that damned plane, and ready to find Dean and Cas.

No one answered him in the cold night, and Sam continued onward, looking for a tent, anything to show that they were still alive. After trudging through the thrashing snow for several hours, he finally saw light in the distance. Sam turned off to the right and ran against the whipping flurries, hoping to find them soon. When he saw the flames, he was overjoyed, and he instantly picked up his pace. It was only when he came to the holy fire that he realized that he couldn't penetrate it.

"Hello? Dean? Cas?" He yelled out, hoping that they would hear him.

#

"What was that?" asked Cas, looking up from his cards. He had gotten quite proficient at poker, although right now he wasn't doing so well. Dean had talked him into playing "strip poker," and, not knowing what it was, Cas agreed. Right now, he only had his underwear and socks on, while Dean was sitting comfortably in a t-shirt and jeans.

"I didn't hear anything Cas," Dean said distractedly, trying to strategize his next move. Cas put down his cards and stood up. He pulled on several layers and Dean looked up.

"Come on! I was about to win," he grumbled in his typical, low-key voice.

"Sorry, its just that I heard something. I think it was Sam." Dean immediately stood up and dropped his cards. He quickly pulled on multiple layers of clothing and grabbed several essential things, the poker set, his backpack, and hunting gear. Cas took the provisions box and put the heater inside it. After quickly checking to make sure that they hadn't left any holy water or other dangerous weapons, they ran out into the cold.

"Sam!?" Dean called, cupping his hands around his mouth. There was a sound that Dean heard faintly, but Cas whipped his head around.

"There!" He pointed, off to the right. Dean followed him and they trudged off, hoping to find Sam quickly. It wasn't long before they found him, staring at them from across the blazing holy fire.

"Dean! Cas! Hey! Let's get out of here! I cleared your name. The angels know that you weren't the one that killed their brother—they know about the shape shifter. The only problem was that I had to give them proof and then hunt down the damn thing!" Before Dean could respond, Cas dumped holy water on the holy fire and put it out. He quickly grabbed Dean and Sam's hands and in a _pop _they vanished.

#

"Dammit Cas, warn me before you do that!" Dean yelled.

"Sorry Dean, I know you hate it," Cas mumbled. Dean stopped immediately when he saw that he was hurting Cas.

"Sorry," he muttered. Dean looked around them. They were back in their motel room in Oklahoma, the very one that Cas had retrieved Dean from eleven days ago. Five days alone with Cas was all it had taken for Dean to finally act on his feelings. And he was so glad that he had. He suddenly realized that Sam was staring at them.

"So, did you want to hear the story or were you going to just stare at each other forever?" he laughed. Dean shook his head.

"I wasn't—" he stopped. He wasn't what? In love with Cas? He had slept with Cas and Dean couldn't even tell his own brother? He looked at his angel. Cas deserved more than that.

"Cas and I—" Dean began. Then his voice seemed to shrink. He didn't know what to say. Luckily, his angel did.

"Dean and I do share a _profound _bond," said Cas calmly. It took Sam a moment, but he understood.

"Oh. Well, good for you. Dean, why you took this long to tell him, I'll never know. You're a dumb-ass sometimes," Sam said. Dean was beginning to feel furious. How on earth had Sam known? Had he been _that _obvious? As if he heard Dean's thoughts, Sam said "You two are always having your little mind conversations. Half of the time all you do is undress each other with your eyes."

Dean scratched his neck. "Yeah, I suppose it was pretty obvious," he said, laughing a little. "But, enough about us, what happened?" he said quickly.

Sam looked at them, grinning from ear to ear. "I won't ask, but you two _did _the nasty!" he said. Dean wanted to slap himself. He was growing very red.

"Shut up Sam," he said. "Bitch," he muttered.

"Jerk," said Sam with a smile. He shook his head. "Okay, fine, forget it. Well, it took forever to find the shape shifter that was killing angels. It turns out that you're never going to believe this. He had the damn Colt!"

"Wait, what? But there's only one Colt, and we know what happened with that," said Dean skeptically.

"I guess we were wrong about that. He had a Colt, and he didn't seem to be low on bullets either. I think that someone still knows how to make them. Either that or Samuel Colt made more special guns than we originally thought." Cas and Dean were dumbstruck.

"Did you kill him?" Cas finally managed to ask. Sam nodded.

"I had to. He was going around wearing Dean's face, now wasn't he?"

"Thanks man," said Dean. "Do you—did you get the Colt?"

"Of course," Sam said, and from his waistband he pulled it out—a _second _Colt gun.

"All of this time, there were two," Dean said as Sam placed it in his hands.

"What will we use it for?" asked Sam. Dean looked at Cas.

"I dunno, but I feel like this isn't even possible. Some one has to have made this recently." He passed the gun back and forth in his hands, feeling the weight. Dean pointed it at the wall, and then back at the ground. He opened it and saw that there were six bullets.

"I think we've got an apprentice on our hands. This gun wasn't made with the other one," he said.

"How do you know?" asked Cas, always the unknowledgeable one about the specifications of guns.

"Look at the seal on the side," said Dean, nonchalantly putting his arm around Cas and sliding closer. Sam almost laughed at seeing Dean so smitten.

"There," Dean said distractedly. "It isn't the same as the original Colt. This is different. I think we have a copy-cat on our hands."

"Or an apprentice," said Cas. Dean considered it for a moment.

"Or an apprentice…" he whispered.


End file.
